Steak N' Chips

The six month mark is on the horizon and I feel as if I’ve got this baby business cracked. Changes have been made. Things are less scary. We even have a routine of sorts. The toughest nut to crack was the issue of napping but after a few nights of hard negotiation, both parties made compromises. Finally Baby D and myself agreed that naps would be confined to 30 minutes in the morning (cot only), with the length of afternoon naps at Baby D’s discretion and only taking place in the buggy while travelling at a minimum of 2 miles per hour. Other developments have happened more naturally. Baby D has accepted that no matter how hard he tries, his pee won’t reach the ceiling when he’s lying on the changing table and it’s actually more fun to eat his toes instead of weeing everywhere. Nappy changes are now way quicker and much less messy. Also much quicker are his milk feeds, now only taking 15 minutes and now that he can sit up even getting dressed is less traumatic for all concerned. Yes I thought I had it cracked and even made it back to the gym a few times. I almost felt like I may regain a party of my previous life. Silly, silly me. After 5 consecutive nights of been woken every 2 hours, and being so tired during the day I couldn’t even concentrate on the Gilmore Girls, I eventually got Baby D’s message that he needed to start on solids. (It would have been so much easier to send an email.) So now I’m steaming, pureeing and freezing anything that looks healthy, not to mention trying to work out the mathematical conundrum of how many frozen fruits and veg cubes can fit into our tiny little ice box. Once I’ve got the solid foods crisis sorted I’m sure it’s only a matter of time before the first tooth starts to make its presence known…..

Baby D Takes Over

Baby D here folks. Well the past 5 months have been a busy time. There have been numerous challenges, advances and setbacks but at last I think my persistence is paying off and Parent Training is going places. I think it’s high time I share my experience, so for all the newborn babies out there here are my 5 essential rules for the first 5 months.

Rule 1: The Babies are in Charge a.k.a. Babies Rule!
From Day 1 the world revolves about you. Never forget this. If Parents get distracted by the TV or a newspaper and give you less than 100% attention, gently remind them that you rule the roost. I’ve found doing a silent poo followed by vigorous kicking will guarantee instant parental action. If something is going on that you really don’t approve of, go straight to Rule 2.

Rule 2: Your Voice is Your Weapon
You were born with a fine set of vocal cords for a reason; so don’t be afraid to use them! A nice loud, cry will ensure a rapid Parent response. Just be patient as they’re not that clever at figuring out exactly what you need at first, so persist. Simply escalate the volume if the response time is unacceptable.
Baby D Top Tip: If you want to go for a walk, cry repeatedly but this bit is important; make sure to stop crying as soon as you get comfortable in the buggy. Parents are very quick to remember this one and you’ll have a nice long walk built into the daily routine in no time.

Rule 3: Night and Day – it’s All the Same
If you don’t feel like sleeping the night away well don’t! The world’s an exciting place and sometimes there’s just not enough hours to take it all in. So don’t waste time sleeping if you don’t need to. It doesn’t matter what time it is, just decide what you need, a cuddle, some food, a toy or someone to talk to, and adapt Rule 2 as necessary. You’ll notice the later it gets the quicker Parents will act in order to go back to sleep. Remember that Parents have had 30 odd years to sleep so don’t worry if they complain about how tired they are the next day.
Baby D Top Tip: If you prefer to get out of the Moses Basket and stretch out, be particularly grumbly early in the morning and you’ll end up in the big bed beside Mammy. Don’t worry about being squashed or getting too hot under the duvet, Mammy will stay awake to make sure you are comfortable and get a good shuteye.

Rule 4: Persistence pays off
Currently my Parents have developed an annoying habit of putting me back into my cot in the middle of the morning. It’s a ridiculous notion they have, no doubt picked up from one of those silly books they read. I mean there I am with things to do and people to see and suddenly they insist on putting me back down for a nap. Simply ridiculous! Anyway it’s taking a while to train them out of this one, but by staying awake, fussing and crying I’m slowly getting there. It’s only a matter of time before they give up and leave me in my gym or on a nice warm shoulder. Be patient with them. They think they know what they’re doing but they are not that bright really. With a little persistence though you’ll get the routine you want. And when you do, refer to Rule no 5….

Rule 5: No one can resist a Baby’s Smile
This is an important one as the carrot and stick approach works very well when training Parents. While the cry works wonders, don’t forget to use your cute, adorable smiles to reward them when things go your way. Guaranteed to disarm the most disgruntled parent, even in the middle of the night.
Baby D Top Tip: Throw in a little leg kicking, and tilt the head to one side when displaying your wide mouthed, gummy little smile for added adorableness. The dripping sound you may hear is probably your parent’s heart melting!

Ok, that’s all for now. I’ll return with more pearls of wisdom in another few months. Ciao amigos!

Hotel California

There was a blog break last week as we took advantage of cheap mid week offers and took Baby D for his first trip to a hotel at the ripe old age of 4 ½ months. Funnily enough neither Hubbie nor myself stayed in a hotel until we were in our twenties and only then for a family wedding. After that we couldn’t even remember the occasion but was probably another wedding. Things change over the years. There was Baby D last week, travelling in style to his first breakfast buffet in his top of the range, EU compliant car seat, dangly toys attached for in-flight entertainment, with the seat firmly clicked into the pricey isofix base for extra safety. Gone are the days when babies were left to their own devices rolling about in the back of the car, with nothing more than a Chivers red jelly carton for entertainment. Like Sparta only the toughest survived.
Anyway those days are long gone and I’ve accepted that packing light is a thing of the past. Surrounded by lists of what to bring last week, I remembered fondly how I packed for a years travel in 40 minutes with room to spare in my rucksack. Now a 2 day trip takes as many days to organise and once you’ve figured out what to bring, well lets just say it would be quicker to solve a Rubik's cube than work out the logistics of fitting everything into the car.
However we’re getting quicker and Hubbie is getting car packing down to a fine art. Last week as we drove out the driveway, we congratulated ourselves on fitting in the buggy, bouncer chair, car seat and baby, baby clothes, changes of baby clothes (and a few extra changes just in case), blankets, toys to keep baby entertained, some more toys which apparently aid development and intelligence (we don’t think they’re that much fun but feel guilty if we don’t get Baby D to use them in case he never learns his times tables because of poor encouragement at 4 mts), baby sleeping bag, spare baby sleeping bag (just in case), sling (just in case of meltdown in the buggy) and monitors (just in case we find ourselves in a suite and have 2 rooms). Thankfully we hadn’t travelled too far down the road when we realised we’d forgotten to bring anything for ourselves. Luckily being Spartan survivors of red jelly carton days we don’t need much and once we managed to squeeze a spare t shirt and toothbrush beside a bunch of nappies we continued on our merry way.